The Line has a Podcast

090 - We Bombed a Girls’ School and Raised Gas Prices

The Line Has a Podcast hits episode 90 and Jimmy and Alyssa finally admit the show can’t keep coasting. A rare “bonus show at the beginning” turns into a brutally honest talk about how the pod is technically operating at a loss, how Patreon is the only reason it’s still alive, and why they’re seriously considering a big format change before episode 100.​
They sketch out a live–recorded version of the show tied into Jimmy’s Monday call‑in stream and Skeptoc, with stricter start/stop times, pre‑recorded mid‑roll ads, and super chats helping keep the lights on. Alyssa admits she “sundowns like Joe Biden” at night while Jimmy tries to protect his only day off, and they debate whether bonus content should be pre‑show, post‑show, or totally separate.​
Then the heavy stuff: Donald Trump’s war with Iran, the U.S. literally blowing up an all‑girls school when killing the Ayatollah, and gas prices jumping past Biden’s post‑COVID highs. Jimmy goes off on voters who swore a vote for Harris was a vote for war with Iran, only to now defend regime change, a more radical successor, and $5–$8 gas in places like LA. Alyssa asks where all the “pro‑life” people are while little girls are dying in U.S. airstrikes.​
They also dig into post‑9/11 déjà vu: ISIS‑inspired attacks, a bomb thrown at a Muslim mayor’s residence, and Republicans like Andy Ogles openly saying Muslims don’t belong in America. Alyssa calls it what it is—Christian nationalist, white‑supremacist politics dressed up as patriotism—while Jimmy points out these same officials swore to uphold a Constitution they clearly don’t believe in.​
Between all that, there’s still chaos: Disney’s racist history and still‑fun theme parks, Hocus Pocus and hot cartoons, Pokopia as “Pokemon Animal Crossing,” and plans for sketch‑style merch ads and a future bonus episode on Under the Banner of Heaven. If you want in on shaping what this show becomes by episode 100, this is where that conversation really starts.

089 - Is America the Bad Guy?

Jimmy and Alyssa go from video game brain rot to full political chaos in this episode. Jimmy explains how the new Pokopia game is basically Pokémon‑meets‑Animal Crossing‑meets‑Minecraft and is perfectly designed to destroy years of ADHD progress, while Alyssa talks about why she can’t risk losing her attention span to another hyper‑fixation.​
They dive into Kristi “Crusty Gnome” Noem’s disastrous hearing, taxpayer‑funded luxury jets, the weird “Shield of the Americas” promotion, and Markwayne “jacked thumb” Mullin stepping in as Trump’s new loyalist. They also unpack U.S. airstrikes, bombed schools, and the sinking realization that “we might actually be the bad guys.”​
Jimmy then retells a wild live caller named Tony who starts polite, pivots to “have you served in the military?”, and ends in a full meltdown about Iran, 9/11, liberals, and trans people after Jimmy calmly pushes back. Alyssa and Jimmy break down toxic patriotism, weaponized anger, and why some guys completely disintegrate when you don’t treat their service like a trump card.​
On the personal side, they get into sleep schedules, dog‑parent life, and a big tattoo debate: Jimmy’s “tattoos are colorful scars and ruin nudity” take versus Alyssa proudly defending being a tattooed person and loving flash and matching tattoos. Plus: “Fuck Your Birthday” merch, inside jokes, and Patreon/Discord chaos.​
If you like political commentary, unhinged caller stories, neurodivergent brain talk, and messy tattoo discourse, this one’s for you.​

088 - State of the Funyun, Foot Freaks, and Casey Anthony, Esq.

Alyssa and Jimmy bounce from the “State of the Funyun” to some of the darkest, funniest corners of politics, sex, and internet culture. They build a Trump State of the Union bingo card (lies about jobs, “affordability,” weird self-bragging, and the strong possibility of poopy pants) while tearing into MAGA economics and the idea that cheap gas fixes everything.​
They go hard on Casey Anthony’s attempt to rebrand as a TikTok “legal advocate,” Pam Bondi’s failure to protect victims, and Russell Brand’s Jesus-flavored redemption tour after accusations of predatory behavior. From there it’s YouTube drama and reality TV: Mr. Beast’s “live with your ex for 30 days” stunt that Alyssa turned down, why $100k isn’t worth public humiliation, and how The Circle tried to make her “sexy sex girl” while she just wanted to play the game.​
The second half dives into kink, therapy, and bodies. Alyssa explains the SAR (Sexual Attitude Readjustment) training where future sex therapists watch confronting porn—elderly couples, disabled folks, trans people—to uncover their own biases. Jimmy talks about his lifelong disgust with feet, sweat, and handshakes, plus OCD-adjacent cleanliness rituals that leave his hands cracked and bleeding. They also roast flash tattoos as “capitalism with a needle,” unpack why some people shouldn’t get a public redemption arc, and read Patreon comments that turn into their own bit.​
Get the extended episode and ad-free feed at patreon.com/calltheline.

087 - Trump's Tariffs Get Torn Up

Trump, aliens, and fake geniuses all collide in this episode as Jimmy and Alyssa unpack another cursed news cycle.​
They open with the Supreme Court blocking Donald Trump’s use of the International Emergency Economic Powers Act to slap universal tariffs on imports, and how he’s already trying to route around it with other laws to re‑impose a 10% worldwide tariff anyway. They break down why trade deficits aren’t automatically bad (Jimmy’s grocery store analogy makes it obvious), why universal tariffs are awful for regular people, and what it means that $275 billion in unconstitutional tariff revenue now hangs with no clear plan to refund those who paid it.​
From there, they zoom out to Trump’s open contempt for the Constitution, his refusal to follow Supreme Court limits, and the viewer comment that haunts the whole episode: “Why do I follow any laws if he doesn’t have to?” That spins into authoritarianism, impunity, and how long people are expected to play by the rules when their leaders never do.​
The show then veers into aliens and Elon. After Obama gives a calm, scientific answer about extraterrestrial life, Trump responds like he’s handling classified intel he might have just leaked and promises to “declassify” UFO files. Jimmy and Alyssa explain why that’s nonsense, what “UFO” actually means, and why nobody should trust disclosure from a man who protects abusers.​
Finally, they torch the myth of Elon Musk as super‑genius: the fake top‑10 gamer flex allegedly propped up by paid grinders, a disastrous livestream that made his ignorance obvious, and a pattern of paying for other people’s excellence and taking credit. Sprinkle in K‑pop industry nightmares, aging bodies, brain fog, and weird canker sores, and you get a chaotic, furious, darkly funny hour about living in a world run by the dumbest possible villains.

086 - A GoFundMe, a Ranch, and 2.4 Million Reasons to Side-Eye Celebrities

Jimmy and Alyssa are back for Episode 86 of “The Line Has a Podcast,” starting with Threads’ chaotic “dear algorithm” feature, comment-section backseat hosting, and why some viewers want every host to sound exactly the same.​
They veer into sex-ed gaps and STI testing myths: what standard panels actually miss, why BV keeps coming back for some people, and the horrific historical “rod in the urethra” scare story Jimmy was told as a kid.​
Then it’s onto politics and media: the SAVE Act and how voter ID rules can quietly knock poor people and married women off the rolls, plus the FCC panic that kept a James Talarico/Colbert segment off broadcast TV.​
They close with true-crime influencer ethics, the James Van Der Beek GoFundMe debate, jet skis as “secretly Republican-coded,” and a setup for the Patreon bonus episode on the wild lies adults told to scare kids away from sex.

085 - Trump’s 600% Discount & Pam Bondi’s Meltdown: We’re So Screwed

Alyssa and Jimmy bounce from chocolate-covered strawberries and nerd clusters to the dark reality of American healthcare, TrumpRx, and Trump’s absurd claim that he lowered prescription drug prices by “600%.” They break down what that math would actually mean, compare TrumpRx to Canada’s essentially free-at-point-of-care prescriptions, and talk about why some common meds aren’t even available in the TrumpRx system while sketchy compounded Wegovy-style offers are everywhere.​
From there they dive into Reddit: “things women think about that men don’t,” like planning vacations and outfits around their cycle, antibiotics wrecking birth control and causing yeast infections, and constant vigilance about fabrics, detergents, and vaginitis. Jimmy counters with legendary “guy secrets” like “poop chipping” (cleaning skid marks with your aim), the compulsive need to carry all the groceries in one trip, and how deeply rare compliments land for men. They also talk about social anxiety, men avoiding looking like creeps when walking behind women, and how consent and sexual assault are experienced and processed differently by men and women.​
The episode widens out into pop culture and politics: James Van Der Beek’s death from colorectal cancer and how medical bankruptcy destroys families, Kim Jong-un naming his daughter as heir, and why conservative women with power often start behaving like the worst men.​
Finally, they unload on Pam Bondi’s catastrophic performance in the Epstein/DOJ hearings: her “burn book” of insults, lying under oath about Trump and underage girls, refusing to face victims behind her, clutching the Bible while protecting alleged pedophiles, and getting obliterated by members like Moskowitz, Balint, Raskin, Jayapal, Nadler, Jeffries, and Jasmine Crockett. If you like left-leaning political commentary, dark humor, way too-honest body and sex talk, and detailed takedowns of Trump, MAGA, and the U.S. healthcare system, this one is for you.

084 - Ted Nugent’s 13-year‑old “jailbait” song and the MAGA machine that shrugs at pedophilia

A chaotic episode that starts with zombie games, hairlines, and the eternal “gabagool” debate and quickly dives into America’s darkest realities. Jimmy and Alyssa unpack the Freedom 250 “celebration” as a thinly veiled bribe machine, where million‑dollar “donations” buy you face time with Trump and a stage slot at America’s 250th birthday party.
They rip into Turning Point’s cringe Kid Rock pseudo‑halftime show, contrast it with Bad Bunny’s unapologetically Latin performance, and ask why the loudest “protect the children” crowd keeps platforming guys like Ted Nugent, who literally wrote a song sexualizing a 13‑year‑old.
From there they dig into what members of Congress are saying after seeing the unredacted Epstein files: suspicious redactions around Trump, co‑conspirators with global power, and evidence that Trump’s favorite “I banned Epstein” story is a lie. If you want gallows humor, righteous anger, and a hard look at how power protects predators, this one’s for you.

083 - Pedophiles, Poop Pants, and Political Cults

Jimmy and Alyssa tackle the latest partial government shutdown, ICE funding fights, and why Democrats keep caving on healthcare while Americans’ costs explode.
They go hard at ICE’s six‑figure bonus structure, deportation quotas, and the reality of sick five‑year‑olds locked in short‑term cages while right‑wing media pretends every deportee is a “pedophile.”
From there they dig into Grammys “ICE OUT” moments, Bad Bunny’s historic album of the year win and upcoming Super Bowl halftime, and MAGA’s rage that a Spanish‑language artist they “never heard of” is massively more popular than their culture‑war darlings.
The back half dives into the new Epstein document dump: Trump’s name all over redacted pages, Elon and Kimball Musk’s “wildest night on the island” emails, and why it matters that this administration fought to keep these files buried while failing to protect victims.
Throughout, they hit power, abuse, religion, and political cults with jokes, swearing, and zero patience for fascists, boot‑lickers, or anyone still defending ICE or “Poopsident” Trump.

081 - Tread on Me, Daddy: ICE, Fascism, and a Very Broken America

Jimmy and Alyssa open with “fuck ICE” and do not let up, unpacking the execution‑style killing of Alex Pretti by ICE officers and what it reveals about Trump’s second term, fascism, and the death of any pretense of “law and order.” They walk through the multiple video angles of how a VA ICU nurse trying to help a pepper‑sprayed friend ended up pinned, disarmed, blinded, and then shot repeatedly in the back while lying on the street. They contrast this with MAGA’s attempt to turn him into a drag‑queen supervillain using AI images, fake “iPhone gun” conspiracies, and made‑up accusations designed to make a state killing feel justified.
They go after ICE “Gestapo cosplay” leadership, Greg Bovino’s trench‑coat threats, and the $40,000 average bonuses being allocated for ICE while Americans are told basic healthcare is too expensive. The conversation zooms out into Christian nationalism, purity culture, and white supremacy, and how evangelical propaganda plus the manosphere create the perfect conditions for authoritarianism.
It’s raw, furious, and darkly funny: “tread on me daddy” boot‑licking energy, Kyle Rittenhouse vs. Alex Pretti, Stephen Miller as expired mayonnaise, and the bleak question of what resistance looks like when the state is literally gunning people down in the street.​

080 - Putin Joins Trump's Board of Peace

Ice storms, ICE the agency, Trump’s bruised hands, Nazi anthems in clubs, hentai discourse, and cursed engagement art: this episode is a chaotic tour through everything broken and absurd in America right now.​
Jimmy and Alyssa start with a full‑blown “war on ice” after another Texas ice storm dredges up 2021 grid‑collapse PTSD, joking about flamethrowers, crunchy half‑inch ice on every blade of grass, and “fuck ICE” shirts that feel risky to wear in Trump country. They pivot into politics and media decay: Trump’s obvious health decline, Jack Smith’s testimony, YouTube “journalists” like Nick Shirley getting congressional shine, and why it feels like Idiocracy with Joe Rogan as a trusted thinker.​
They unpack divorce stats, religious shame, and how past generations of women were trapped in marriages with no economic exit, contrasting that with relationships that actually make your day better just by waking up next to your person. There’s introvert‑hell content on social batteries, kicking guests out with timers, and needing 12 hours to recover from one hang, plus a furious segment on Uvalde, “good guys with guns,” Nazi apologists online, and influencers blasting “Hail Hitler” in clubs.​
The episode also hits Elon’s “spicy mode” pornifying normal photos, hentai vs loli and pedophile “propaganda,” US healthcare costs that are thousands a month, and the saga of Alyssa’s Coke‑collecting fiancé and the cursed sausage‑finger engagement portrait. If you like dark humor, left‑politics, internet culture, and two very tired people trying to stay sane, this one’s for you.